Ephesians 4:13-15
Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, (NASB)
until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. So then, we may no longer be children, tossed [like ships] to and fro between chance gusts of teaching and wavering with every changing wind of doctrine, [the prey of] the cunning and cleverness of unscrupulous men, [gamblers engaged] in every shifting form of trickery in inventing errors to mislead. Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). (Amplified Bible)
Have you ever been cautioned to speak the truth in love whenever you politely and earnestly warn people against false teachers and apostles as well as against all the “wonderful” signs and wonders appearing in little heart shaped stones, heart shaped clouds, bright lights from heaven illuminating huge tents and “Jesus Christ’s” alleged appearance in a cloud while holding a little lamb? I have . . ., many times, even by my nearest of kin . . . my own flesh and blood. Let’s face it; the gift of discernment which always goes hand in hand with reproof, correction and instruction (2 Timothy 3:16) has become one of the most despised gifts amongst (no! . . . not unbelievers) believers who claim they are followers of Jesus Christ. Isn’t it strange that whenever you ask your accusers to give you an example of how to speak the truth in love, they do not have the faintest of clues how to do it? Most Christians do not know how to speak the truth in love but uncannily know how to believe the deceivers’ lies in love and to rebuke in “love” those who actually do speak the truth in love? In fact, love, compassion, empathy, kindness, consideration and benevolence are all traits the deceivers have mastered to perfection, only to conceal their deception so much the better. Christians who do not have a teachable spirit and tenaciously believe they cannot be deceived because a God of love will never allow them to be led astray are usually the ones who use the “speak the Truth in love” trump card whenever they are warned.
Shouldn’t love be uppermost in a Christian’s heart? Yes, indeed it must, but sincerity is equally important; love without sincerity is worthless. Paul says in Romans 12:9 that our love should be sincere and then he qualifies sincere love by adding: “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” In 2 Corinthians he links love to truthful speech spoken in the power of God and in 1 Timothy 1:5 to sincere faith. The word for sincere is anupokritos { an-oo-pok’-ree-tos} and means to be “unfeigned,” “undisguised” and “without hypocrisy.” If anyone can prove to me that deception, lies and falsities are not evil then I would be the first to encourage Christians to love and not hate it. Love can only be meaningful when you have learnt how to hate evil in whatever shape or form. In most cases evil of the deceptive kind approaches you in the form of light, love, compassion and benevolence (2 Corinthians 11:13-15). Consequently, Christians should hate false light, false love, false compassion and false benevolence because it is downright evil.
The best way to make a Christian feel guilty, and especially those who have a heartfelt concern for Christians who are being deceived, is to imply that they are loveless, and guess what’s the easiest way to make them feel guilty? Well, quote to them Ephesians 4:15 without any effort to explain what it really means and to omit the previous verse 14.
Now, for the million dollar question: How do you speak the truth in love? Do you put on your best smile, hug a person and tenderly whisper in his ear, “If you do not immediately stop following the false Christs, teachers and apostles, repent and turn to Jesus of the Bible you will go to hell.” While you ponder this question you may also want to convince me that the following words were not spoken in love.
Matthew 23:33 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell? (Spoken in love by John the Baptist)
Luke 3:7 Then said he to the multitude that came forth to be baptized of him, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come? (Spoken in love by John the Baptist)
Galatians 1:8-10 But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed. For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ. (Spoken in love by Paul of Tarsus).
Luke 13:1-5 There were present at that season some that told him of the Galilaeans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galilaeans were sinners above all the Galilaeans, because they suffered such things? I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. (Spoken in love by Jesus of Nazareth).
John 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. (Spoken in love by Jesus of Nazareth).
Acts 8:20 But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. (Spoken in love by the apostle Peter).
Jude verse 11-13 Woe unto them! for they have gone in the way of Cain, and ran greedily after the error of Balaam for reward, and perished in the gainsaying of Core. These are spots in your feasts of charity, when they feast with you, feeding themselves without fear: clouds they are without water, carried about of winds; trees whose fruit withereth, without fruit, twice dead, plucked up by the roots; Raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness for ever. (Spoken in love by the apostle Jude).
Matthew 8:12 But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. (Spoken on love by Jesus of Nazareth)
Matthew 13:42 And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. (Spoken in love by Jesus of Nazareth)
Matthew 22:13 Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. (Spoken in love by Jesus of Nazareth)
Luke 13:28 There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out. (Spoken in love by Jesus of Nazareth).
Revelation 22: 19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book. (Spoken in love by John, the apostle of love).
The phrase “speaking the truth in love” is not a lecture on how to present the truth without offending people. Yes, of course, Christians should never offend people but when they commit themselves to the truth in their preaching of the cross of Jesus Christ, they are going to offend many people. It is unavoidable. There are two words used for “offence.” The one is “aproskopos { ap-ros’-kop-os} which relates to a Christian’s way of living in the midst of unbelievers and means that they should not lead others into sin by their mode of living. A single example will explain its meaning. Many Christians believe it is quite ok to drink beer, wine and strong liquor and even to provide some for the unbelievers who visit them at their home. What does the Bible teach?
Habakkuk 2:15-16 Woe to you who make your neighbors drink, Who mix in your venom even to make them drunk so as to look on their nakedness! “You will be filled with disgrace rather than honor. Now you yourself drink and expose your own nakedness. The cup in the Lord’s right hand will come around to you, And utter disgrace will come upon your glory.
“Nakedness” in this regard is not nudity. It means to loosen the neighbour’s tongue so that he may disclose his deepest secrets without shame.
1 Corinthians 10:32 Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God.
Matthew 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
The other word for “offence” is “ skandalon { skan’-dal-on} (ôscandalö )” which is used in connection with the Gospel and in particular the cross of Jesus Christ.
Romans 9:32 -33 Wherefore? Because they sought it not by faith, but as it were by the works of the law. For they stumbled at that stumblingstone; As it is written, Behold, I lay in Sion a stumblingstone and rock of offence: and whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.
Christians dare not water down the offence of the cross. As soon as they do they are an offence to others because they lead them into error and deception. And this is precisely how they should speak the truth in love — to present the truth and nothing but the truth which makes you free and safeguards yourself and your brethren from being “tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming.”
Please note, the verse does not say “speak the truth in love” but “speaking the word in love” (continuous present tense) which indicates that Christians who present the truth in such a way that others may not be led astray by false teachers and apostles and their deception are already “speaking the truth in love” although they may be accused of doing it with a wrong attitude and without love. The above quotes from the Bible of Jesus, Paul, Jude. Peter and Luke speaking the truth in love, is a resounding example of being an offence to people in behalf of the truth — all truth pertaining to the cross of Jesus Christ.
